i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
