spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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