So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
