I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
