Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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