I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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