so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
