Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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