He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
