do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
