I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
