I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
