He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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