a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
