Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
