Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My vagina is very pro this idea
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
