I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
