It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
