Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
