Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
