she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
