I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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