I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
