So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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