is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
