Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
