found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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