Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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