Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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