Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
