We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
