I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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