That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
