He asked me if I "almost moaned"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
