How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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