Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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