I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
