i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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