yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
