he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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