the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
