I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
