If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
