I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
