yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
