I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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