drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
