is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
