proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
