Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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